- Joined
- Mar 24, 2025
- Messages
- 28
- Thread Author
- #1
CityRP Staff Application: Bloggy Woggy
Age: Old enough to know better, young enough to still apply anyway.
Position to Applying for: A cook
Time zone: PST, but my sleep schedule operates on its own sovereign jurisdiction, one that does not recognize daylight savings and has never once ratified a treaty with my alarm clock.
How long have you been part of the server?
Long enough to have built real things here, not just logged in and vanished. I currently run Azalea Isles, I manage the AZEX in game stock exchange, and I have spent a long time on district design, event islands, and ministry building floor plans. This is not a "just joined last week and wants power" application. I have history here, and I think that history speaks for itself.
Why do you want to be staff?
Because I think the server benefits from people who already understand how it works, not just from a builder's side but from a governance side too. Through the Ministry of Justice roleplay, I have drafted in character rulings and analyzed active legal cases on the forum, which means I already think in terms of fairness, precedent, and how a decision today affects the next ten disputes down the line. That is exactly the mindset I would bring to actual staff decisions.
Speaking of things that affect the next ten disputes down the line, I need to bring up Westray's foot fungus for a moment. I do not think this is something we can keep tabling. I do not think it is something we CAN discuss in polite company, and yet here I am, doing it anyway, in a staff application, because someone has to be the one to say it. Whatever is currently colonizing that man's feet has stopped being a medical situation and started being a geopolitical one. It has its own microclimate. It has seasons. I am not a podiatrist, I do not want to be a podiatrist, but I have seen things that cannot be unseen, and I felt this was the appropriate government document in which to formally raise the alarm.
Anyway. Back to my actual qualifications, because I do have them.
Have you had any past experience moderating or handling disputes?
Yes. Through the Ministry of Justice work I have had to weigh conflicting accounts, apply rules consistently even when it was not the popular choice, and write up findings in a way that both sides could understand even if they disagreed with the outcome. I stay level headed under pressure, and I do not let personal history with a player cloud a ruling.
While we are on the topic of things that cannot be unseen, I would like to formally state, for the record, that I believe The Office, the American version, 2005 to 2013, Steve Carell era, was engineered by Osama bin Laden as a slow drip radicalization pipeline aimed squarely at the liberal elite. Nine seasons. Nine seasons of mockumentary footage, carefully calibrated to make upper middle class urban professionals feel deep emotional attachment to a mid sized regional paper company in Scranton, Pennsylvania. That is not sitcom writing, that is a psychological operation with a laugh track. Michael Scott is not a boss, Michael Scott is a sleeper cell wearing a World's Best Boss mug as camouflage. I have not fully mapped out the delivery mechanism yet, whether it is the cold opens or the talking head interviews, but I am close, and I felt a staff application was as good a place as any to go on record with this.
What can you bring to the staff team specifically?
Consistency. I show up, I follow projects through to completion, and I do not disappear for three weeks the moment something gets difficult, as anyone who has watched the Azalea Isles build progress or the GTA 6 trailer recreation project can confirm. I also bring patience, since dealing with in character legal cases has taught me that most disputes are not actually about the rule that got broken, they are about people feeling unheard, and a good staff member listens before ruling.
I will not, however, be taking any follow up questions about Westray's feet at this time, today, or at any point in the foreseeable future. That door is closed. It is closed for everyone's safety, including mine.
Anything else you would like to add?
Only that this whole application is intended as a joke, so please read it in that spirit. That said, I do stand by everything I said about Westray's feet, and I remain open to further discussion regarding The Office as an instrument of global radicalization, preferably over voice chat, preferably late at night, preferably with snacks.
Age: Old enough to know better, young enough to still apply anyway.
Position to Applying for: A cook
Time zone: PST, but my sleep schedule operates on its own sovereign jurisdiction, one that does not recognize daylight savings and has never once ratified a treaty with my alarm clock.
How long have you been part of the server?
Long enough to have built real things here, not just logged in and vanished. I currently run Azalea Isles, I manage the AZEX in game stock exchange, and I have spent a long time on district design, event islands, and ministry building floor plans. This is not a "just joined last week and wants power" application. I have history here, and I think that history speaks for itself.
Why do you want to be staff?
Because I think the server benefits from people who already understand how it works, not just from a builder's side but from a governance side too. Through the Ministry of Justice roleplay, I have drafted in character rulings and analyzed active legal cases on the forum, which means I already think in terms of fairness, precedent, and how a decision today affects the next ten disputes down the line. That is exactly the mindset I would bring to actual staff decisions.
Speaking of things that affect the next ten disputes down the line, I need to bring up Westray's foot fungus for a moment. I do not think this is something we can keep tabling. I do not think it is something we CAN discuss in polite company, and yet here I am, doing it anyway, in a staff application, because someone has to be the one to say it. Whatever is currently colonizing that man's feet has stopped being a medical situation and started being a geopolitical one. It has its own microclimate. It has seasons. I am not a podiatrist, I do not want to be a podiatrist, but I have seen things that cannot be unseen, and I felt this was the appropriate government document in which to formally raise the alarm.
Anyway. Back to my actual qualifications, because I do have them.
Have you had any past experience moderating or handling disputes?
Yes. Through the Ministry of Justice work I have had to weigh conflicting accounts, apply rules consistently even when it was not the popular choice, and write up findings in a way that both sides could understand even if they disagreed with the outcome. I stay level headed under pressure, and I do not let personal history with a player cloud a ruling.
While we are on the topic of things that cannot be unseen, I would like to formally state, for the record, that I believe The Office, the American version, 2005 to 2013, Steve Carell era, was engineered by Osama bin Laden as a slow drip radicalization pipeline aimed squarely at the liberal elite. Nine seasons. Nine seasons of mockumentary footage, carefully calibrated to make upper middle class urban professionals feel deep emotional attachment to a mid sized regional paper company in Scranton, Pennsylvania. That is not sitcom writing, that is a psychological operation with a laugh track. Michael Scott is not a boss, Michael Scott is a sleeper cell wearing a World's Best Boss mug as camouflage. I have not fully mapped out the delivery mechanism yet, whether it is the cold opens or the talking head interviews, but I am close, and I felt a staff application was as good a place as any to go on record with this.
What can you bring to the staff team specifically?
Consistency. I show up, I follow projects through to completion, and I do not disappear for three weeks the moment something gets difficult, as anyone who has watched the Azalea Isles build progress or the GTA 6 trailer recreation project can confirm. I also bring patience, since dealing with in character legal cases has taught me that most disputes are not actually about the rule that got broken, they are about people feeling unheard, and a good staff member listens before ruling.
I will not, however, be taking any follow up questions about Westray's feet at this time, today, or at any point in the foreseeable future. That door is closed. It is closed for everyone's safety, including mine.
Anything else you would like to add?
Only that this whole application is intended as a joke, so please read it in that spirit. That said, I do stand by everything I said about Westray's feet, and I remain open to further discussion regarding The Office as an instrument of global radicalization, preferably over voice chat, preferably late at night, preferably with snacks.